DOES JILL SCOTT SOUND BITTER ABOUT INTERRACIAL DATING?!

Here we go with this again…she should have a sit down with Obama.

Jill Scott talks to Essence Magazine, she says:

You know the moment when you realize that fine, accomplished brother is with a White woman? Let’s call it “the wince.” Three-time Grammy Award-winning artist, writer, actress, philanthropist, mother and all-around Renaissance woman, Jill Scott gets to the root of our feelings on the matter.

My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn’t marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit…wince. I didn’t immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.

Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul’s credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that’s not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah’s Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common “wince” has solely to do with the African story in America.

When our people were enslaved, “Massa” placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.

We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It’s frustrating and it hurts!

Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I’m just sayin’.

In my opinion, she needs to get over it already and worry about her own fucked up relationships and out of wedlock children. The word on the street is you have a problem with gay Black men too.

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Carlton Jordan, a former Producer for the E! News Bureau, is the owner/editor of Carlton Jordan, The Hollywood Official, and GoodSport,BadSport! He is also a screenwriter, director, and producer. He can be reached at cj@carltonjordan.com!
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  • Sasha

    I feel where she's coming from. But I also understand love comes in all colors. My daughter married out side of our race, and I love my son-in-law. But for me an older black woman I can only truely love a black man. My choice.I'm just sayin.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=539345923 Khephra Alejandro White

    I understand what she's saying, but she needs to get the fuck over herself. What about a Black woman who is with a White man? What about a Hispanic man? I don't feel a bite, nor do I feel bitter. I don't wince when I meet a Black man with a White woman. Would he wince at the White/Hispanic man on my arm?

  • Ms. Smith

    Jill is not bitter she is just keeping it real. She is showing courage by stating what most of us feel. Whether we say it out loud or not, we have all felt the wince. I like the fact that we are having the conversation openly. That is the only way we will ever “get over it”. I don't know that we should ever “get over it” but if we are to “get over it” we need to keeping talking about it…just sayin…

    I for one, don't want anyone who doesn't want me…that is how I “got over it” years ago…

  • Denise

    I can feel her. My feelings are somewhat the same. Some African American males are living a lie. I heard a brother say, “he'll hook up with a ugly white woman before he get with a beautiful black sister”.. Somethings wrong, his preference is whack. Personally, I hope this type of thinking backfires on them and this curse is broken from our current generation. Sisters, keep our culture alive, stay active in the community and expose these fake brothers, don't support their lies, their businesses, their art, their talent. We need to support one another sisters and stand up for our culture. Some of the brothers have given up!!!!

  • nubnsista

    As black women we need to stop playing the martyr and victim in terms of the dating/marriage scene. If black men want to date/marry caucasian women; good for them. We need to exercise our options as well. We always whine about the shortage of marriageable black men but let's move past that. If I can make an analogy, if we shop at the same shoe store and they only have a limited amount of shoes, would it be prudent to keep shopping there knowing that there is limited supply or should we try the other shoe stores that might provide you with the style of shoe that you need? Black women, let's wake up and try something new; our happiness is at stake!! There is a whole world out there in which non-black men are interested in you. Stop focusing on others and get your own house in order.

  • EatIt

    Do u ever write original articles or do you just post other people's work? I hope you don't consider yourself a “blogger”.

  • smartsistah

    The bottom line is we don't need to fall for the okey doke. This country is racist as hell and f*cking white men has not and will not solve our problems. Why is it that every other race can preserve their culture but when we want to we are racist. The men that call themselves black that can look past the violence of our past and marry a white woman, more power to them. it's a personal choice. Sistahs let them clean the gene pool because we don't need them. Be happy they made the choice. Sistahs that are so mad at black men they need to be with whatever race too. Clean the gene pool because if you cannot see your own power and beauty and you have to be affirmed by every man other than your own, do your thing. Those of us that are conscious enough to know we are the mothers and fathers of all humanity can fully appreciate each other as equals and don't have to turn to our daughters and sons for love and companionship. Love you Jill and appreciate your honesty. To each his own but the moment your “white” mate calls you a nigger, remember if you sleep with crackers you wake up with crumbs!

  • Norine

    Dear Smart Sistah,

    I love Jill Scott and I hear what she is saying. But you do realize that her “wince” is different from yours. I love Jill for getting people to talk about this subject because I believe talking about this will help sisters all over the world who are experiencing the wince…heal instead of grow angry in silence and feel diminished about their brothers choice. As long as the brother made his choice out of love instead of some colonial ideology that the lighter skin the the score…I can't harbour any animosty are bad feelings against his interracial relationship. But on the other hand when choices are made for the wrong reasons…this should be adressed and talked about and brothers should be aware.

    This is a whole diffferent issue than (I'm sorry to have to say this) your plain really racist point of view

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=539345923 Khephra Alejandro White

    You began your post by stating how racist our country is. I guess you just had to prove it by showing your own?

  • smartsistah

    Norine, Khephra I just have to laugh. There is no way I can be racist toward white people. Nothing I can say or do can institutionally deny them of anything. I can be prejudiced but not racist. How do you know when a brother chooses a white woman for real love or he just thinks she's better. I would say 99 out of 100 it is because of colonialism. I'm saying I don't care if he does. I don't get mad it just shows me his mindset. I've said all along its a personal choice and it's one I could not make. I could not marry a white man, I love black men too much. Why I gotta be called racist? You too just prove my point. We as a people are so busy loving everyone but ourselves that's why we are in the shape that we are in. So go find you some white men and be happy. I am not mad at you.

  • Mark

    PICTURES—–of Black men that date outside their race

    Check this out

    http://www.afieldnegro.com

  • jeff

    look interracial marriage is here to stay and no matter how much you complain about it or bash its not going to change. In fact based on statistics marriage is only going to get more and more diverse as the years go on so at the end of the day what does all your interracial marrige bashing do? Absolutely nothing your hateful words arent going to make everyone in the country just date their own race people have their own minds and will marry whoever they want so stop trying to control everyone in the black community. And stop complainnig about how college educated wealthy black men and women are more likely to date outside their race do you know why that is? Just use your common sense statistically speaking blacks are the least likely race in the u.s. to go to college (besides native americans who are basically almost extinct in the u.s.) So that means when blacks are in college their going to be around mostly non blacks so interracial dating is bound to happen based on the fact that blacks are vastly out numbered in college compared to any other race in general unless they go to a all black college so did you ever think maybe the black man or black woman met there non black husband or wife in college and that it actually is true love since they were with each other in college when they were both young and broke? And now since they have a good job after going to college of course they are going to be wealthy so you dont no the circumstance of every interracial marrige where the black women or black man happens to be wealthy so stop making assumptions.

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